Monday, 7 October 2013

Being Sober

This post is going to be slightly different than usual and it's one I've considered writing for ages, I wrote a similar post a year ago but I am going to go into more detail. I've mentioned many times before that I don't drink, it was something I decided when I was around 15 years old, it was a decision I made on my own after hearing my sister come in after a night out, vomit a few times and wake up feeling awful. It's just never been something I've wanted to do at all, I don't like being out of control and not be aware of what I'm doing, I don't like the thought that someone could do something to me and I wouldn't be coherent enough to know or remember. A lot of alcohol has a ton of sugar in it, it's also
 very bad if you are trying to lose weight/keep fit which I try to do, I also just generally don't like the taste and if you give me a glass of wine, I WILL fall asleep, I'm still not aware why this happens I just manage to find a sofa and fall asleep within two minutes.  It's a decision I made by myself and have never thought of it as a big deal, it started to get a bigger problem when I turned 18, friends would want me to come out on nights out which really aren't my thing. I would much prefer to go out for a nice dinner or sit in front of the television and watch my favourite tv show, not get so drunk I vomit on the street or on some nice man's shoes. I also get quite uncomfortable in small, crowded places so going clubbing is not something that appeals to me as I would probably freak out, a couple of weeks ago I went out with some girls I work with, a couple of times I thought I would have to go outside to calm myself down as it makes me very nervous and anxious. 

Whenever I talk to other people who don't drink they ALWAYS say the same thing, that other people treat them like they are some freak of nature, people don't understand at all. I've had a close friend tell me that they would spike my drink on a night out, this made me incredibly upset and I still think about it a lot and get down about it, even if it was meant to be a joke I don't understand how anyone would find it funny. Why would someone I consider one of my closest friends say something like that? If you had a friend who was vegetarian would you sneak chicken into their meal just because you don't understand why they are vegetarian? It just made me not want to go out so much more than before as I would be terrified they would put something in my drink. I have people say to me "oh don't worry, when you come out with me I'LL get you drunk" um, no. It's not who I'm with/where I am/what I'm wearing/what I've had for dinner, I just do not want to drink, maybe this will change in the future when I know my limits but right now it's not something I do. I've only got a small handful of good responses when I mention that I don't drink, so it makes me not want to tell people, when I tell people I don't drink I get this look, almost as if I've told them I kill puppies for a living. Luckily when I was younger I never dealt with peer pressure too much, or at least I never listened to anyone and just did my own thing. However it worries me that there are probably teenagers who were like me and didn't want to drink, but are being pressured into doing it. The thing is, the people you hang out with at school aren't necessarily going to be your friends forever, I talk to about two people from school. If people are pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do, they aren't real friends, those people who drink/smoke/do drugs may be "cool" and "popular" at school but when they fail their exams and end up doing absolutely nothing with their life, like a lot of the people at my school did, it just shows. 

I was very unsure about blogging about this as I never know what response it's going to get, I don't want it to come across as me hating on people who do drink, I really don't have a problem with drinking, it's just the looks, the opinions and the ignorant responses I get from many people when I mention it. When I blogged about it last year I got comments and tweets from so many others saying that they too didn't drink which made me feel so much better, I sometimes feel quite isolated and alone by the decisions I've made. I recently started university and joined a facebook page for all the freshers, one person asked if anyone one else didn't drink and I was shocked by the amount of people who didn't drink either and it was nice to see that even though you may feel alone there is always someone else who feels the same as you and you are never the only person, whether this is about drinking or it's about something else, anxiety, ocd, mental health, you aren't the only person who feels that way! When I went out with girls from work I left early, feeling very alone and down, I'm an extremely shy person so being in crowded situations anyway is quite stressful, add drunk people to the mix and I'm terrified! I think the majority of people think that if you don't drink then you don't know how to enjoy yourself and you're deemed "boring." Although I am genuinely a very boring person, I know how to enjoy myself, sometimes people are just too bloody amazing they don't need drink ;) 

Positives To Being Sober

You don't have to deal with hangovers - You can wake up and get on with your day without feeling like you've had your insides ripped out and stuffed back down your throat and you don't have to update all your facebook friends on how awful you feel and the fact that you are "never drinking again."

I never worry about drink driving or taxis as I can drive - You don't have to worry about waiting in the cold for the taxi to arrive or whether he's a serial killer.

I always know what I've done the night before - There's no waking up and having no clue what happened the night before and what you did to embarrass yourself this time.

I save money (more to spend on makeup..?) - I don't throw away a ton of money on shots, wine, more shots, vodka, more shots.

I don't vomit on the nice man's shoes- You won't vomit in the street and completely disgrace yourself, there will be no photos on facebook of you with your skirt up or even worse, having a wee in the middle of the cathedral grounds.

You can act completely insane - "My craziest nights out have often been the times I've been completely sober. You can behave like a wild animal and people will just look at you with their drunk glazed eyes and be very very confused. My favourite thing to do when I'm sober and dealing with mass amounts of drunk people is to make up fake identities. I've told people before that my name used to be Ryan but is now Rihanna because I'm "transitioning." The expressions on their faces was literally worth the taste of five delicious cocktails and they shockingly (and perhaps insultingly) believed me {Note: You can convince drunk people of anything}." I found this while researching and giggled, a lot. Source here.






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19 comments

  1. Brilliant post. I've never been a big drinker but I've recently reached the point where I can't drink more than a sip of cider and would rather be in complete control of my actions (it turns out I'm an angry drunk)! I'm not going to announce it to everyone, for fear of judgment, and hey, I can always go to the bar alone and just order an OJ or Coke without the vodka, haha! x

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  2. I understand completely how you feel. I don't drink and when I went to uni some of the people I knew didn't like that or didn't understand it and found it odd. Luckily they were in the minority and the friends that I did make who are close to me began to find it normal and we did other things together to have fun like a takeaway or film night. Some don't understand there are other ways to have fun not just drinking. Good on you for not caving and sticking to your personal morals. Shows you are a strong person. xx

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  3. I'm so glad you posted this. Even though i do drink i still loved reading it. Some of my closest friends don't drink and i would never want to think of them being pressured into it or getting a rude response when they told people about it. Its a perfectly good decision and actually i think its the better decision. People who need alcohol to have a good time are just boring people. Well done for not giving into pressure :) xx

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  4. This is the best post I think I've ever read. I'm so happy someone's posted about this! Though I do drink every now and again - particularly on a night out - I don't know why I do as I have the same views as you! I hate being unaware of what I'm doing and more or less completely vulnerable. I don't go out too often as I can't stand wasting my money on drink when I could spend it on better things. You're inspiring me to really think about not drinking permanently! I really admire you for writing about this and being honest, more fool those who don't understand x

    www.crazylins.blogspot.co.uk

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  5. I rarely drink anymore and have taken to driving on nights out - if people are getting a lift home, they never complain about me being boring anymore! I still get the 'next time we go out, I'll make sure you get drunk' approach but I'd rather be in control and not feel sick (which I tend to before I even get tipsy so there's really little point for me). Good on you for making your own decisions and sticking to them! Just because you don't drink, it doesn't mean you can't still have fun :) xx
    www.LaurasHaven.com

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  6. I think that the older you get the less you want to drink :) I know that me and my friends used to go out every weekend and we had a few (or a few too many) drinks. Now we don't go out as much and also if we do, I don't drink any more. I don't care what they think, because I know that I feel so much better this way because I just can't stomach alcohol as I used to. I still drink a glass of wine now and then, but I prefer being completely sober.
    Great post and I completely agree with all the positives you wrote :)

    sparklewithlaughter.blogspot.com

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  7. A friend of mine had been sober (or a non-drinker) for years. I never pressured her to drink of course as I find that silly and offensive. Then one day all of a sudden she started drinking. I hope it wasn't because she was tired of people nagging her and pressuring her to drink whenever she went out. I don't see how it's anyone's business. How does that affect anyone else? People are strange creatures.

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  8. Before joining the world of blogging I felt as though my boyfriend and I were the only people our age that didn't drink but know I know a lot more people who also find it quite pointless. I completely agree with everything you have said here and I always encounter the people that find it so strange and can't understand why I don't drink... to who I say "why would I want to waste my money on drink that will make me forget the night and feel shit the next day?!". I would rather spend my money on something else... mainly makeup haha. I don't have a problem with people who drink I just chose not too, I was 15 at the time too and I think my boyfriend being sober too helped me not feel as pressured by my peers. Great post sweetie :) xxx

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  9. Fantastic post :) I'm only almost 16 yet so many people in my year get ridiculously drunk every other weekend, it's embarrassing! I'm sure I will drink when I'm older but I'm not at all bothered at the moment! (I know this is quite different to your situation, but I'm just saying it's ridiculous how people are getting drunk at 14!!) I've heard so many stories about girls in my year when theyre drunk, who's wants to be that person!? You're very brave posting this :) Rachel xx

    www.pillarbox-post.blogspot.com

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  10. I do drink a fair amount, being honest, but I never disregard people who don't, in fact I do admire them! I've had a few sober night outs and they've been some of my best nights out, you can definitely act mental and everyone just presumes you're drunk too! I definitely respect people who make the decision not to drink though! I however don't just drink to get drunk, I actually enjoy the taste of it :)

    Sophierosehearts x

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  11. I can completely relate to this and love this post so much! literally you must have read my mind as i have the exact same opinions as you about this whole topic haha. I have only ever had 1 good response and that was from my neighbour and she was so proud of me that i felt so good about it and myself and know i dont care if others so stuff about me not drinking. its my life not theirs and i will choose to live it how i want :) xxxx

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  12. Great post, and you're not alone! I'm basically the same. If I'm out with friends or at a dinner party I never drink more than a glass.Then it's water every time after that. I don't understand how others can enjoy drinking until they're sick over and over and I've seen it with my own friends so many times...

    Beauty Challenged

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  13. I love this post! I am 21 and was diagnosed with kidney stones when I was 17 (they are not sure why I developed this,) I have a whole bunch which means my kidneys don't drain as well as healthy ones, I have permanent tissue damage in my kidneys from these stones and it has also lead to a couple of other minor problems. This means if I drink any thing other than water it dehydrates me very quickly and of course is only going to make my current problems worse! Some of my friends can't understand why I don't want to go out drinking, or why I cant have 'just one drink' at dinner, even though they know I am in and out of hospital quite often. It's really frustrating but I, like you, do not feel like I am missing out. It is our decision not to drink. And as far as I'm concerned it is a very sensible decision :)

    Ami xx

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  14. I'm glad you decided to post this! I still stand by our chat the other week because not drinking is a better option but I definitely feel the pressures of it xx

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  15. Oh my, that's such a brilliant post! I totally get you although I do drink occasionally, I've never been drunk enough not to remember everything that happened the night before. Each to their own is still one of my favourite sayings and if you choose not to drink that should be perfectly fine. And although I do like a glass of wine or two, I'm terrified of going clubbing or people going all crazy because they've had too much to drink. All in all I'm probably just as boring as you say you are haha xx

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  16. I am exactly the same! I made the decision to not drink during school, and I can honestly say that I'm so glad that was my decision. It's never been something I have desired to do, nor do I feel that it will be in the future. It's so nice to read about you doing the same thing, thanks Georgina! X

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  17. Great post! i've never been much of a drinker either for many reasons. Some of the ones you mentioned among others, but I have totally been in your shoes before with the judgement and weird looks. It was much worse when i was a bit younger and everything revolved around the bar scene (the worst is when your friends randomly buy you shots, ugh), but now that i'm older, even my friends who used to try to get me drunk don't drink much at all anymore. i think it's a phase that a lot of people just go through. and then of course there are those that never change and always need a drink. I'm like you, I don't understand the desire. I absolutely hate how alcohol tastes, and the last thing I want is to fill myself with something to make me feel crappy. Another great thing about being sober is that you can actually remember the fun you had ;)
    xo dana
    thewonderforest.com

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  18. Amazing post! I don't drink either and have never felt the need to. But I definitely get the weird looks and feel as though Im seen as 'boring' (but I enjoy the granny lifestyle of bed by 10pm). Thank you so much for writing this, I really want to write something similar!

    And your blog is amazing too!

    Lucy x | dinosaurdances.com

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  19. Brilliant Post! Yay, i'm not the only person out there who prefers staying sober then getting trashed. I personally don't enjoy drinking, I never understood why my friends would rather end a great night getting physically ill. Once a 'friend' did spike my drink, which made me feel emotionally and physically horrible. It got to the point where I got soo distraught that I began to wonder whether there was something wrong with me. But obviously I'm over it now, people just need to respect others wishes.
    You're post has pretty much summed up all the reasons I hate drinking and you're right, there are other ways to enjoy yourselves.

    Great post and blog
    Saki x

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